It's okay to be complicated
We are all humans (I hope so), complex creatures that can feel a multitude of emotions. Of course, we are complex; we are not computers that are programmed to pick just one.
We might have conflicting emotions. We might like to start something new but at the same time, not want to commit to it. Also, if you are hurting, you don't have to compare yourself with others (thinking people have lives much worse than yours and then beating yourself up for feeling bad). If it causes you pain, it's not insignificant. Others might not empathize with you, but that's fine.
Walt Whitman famously said, "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes)."
Also knowing something and doing it are two different things.